Waste not, want not

I love America.


As everyone that lives here should. Not in a 'rally the tea party-ers' kind of sense, or an 'I hate republicans' kind of sense, but in a 'I was born here, and I'll be good and God-damned if I let any kind of bullshit rhetorical exchange destroy the fabric of what I believe to be the greatest country ever' kind of sense.


With God as my witness, I have too many observations to be left on the wayside, and I said in my last blog that I would provide the solution. The easiest solution would be to make me (Russell Morgan Holloway II) King and Tyrant. Lacking that, though, here is part one:


Ingenuity


America does a remarkable job of coming up with the best ideas first. Here are some examples:


* Modern Day Democracy
* Assembly line
* Nuclear power
* The lunar frontier
* Geez, if it weren't for the wheel, what would anyone else have?
* umm.... what else? Oh yeah! The fact that the rest of world relies on our largesse to get through each day.


Sorry. If the Germans are good at engineering, and the French are good at making wine, the Swiss are good at making cheese, watches, and army knives, and the Chinese are good at making Happy Meals, then so be it. America will always win because we have the best ideas first. Including this blog.


Now that we have established the background of what our country can aspire to, it's time to get to the nitty gritty...


... next time. 

Waste not, want not

I love America.

As everyone that lives here should. Not in a 'rally the tea party-ers' kind of sense, or an 'I hate republicans' kind of sense, but in a 'I was born here, and I'll be good and God-damned if I let any kind of bullshit rhetorical exchange destroy the fabric of what I believe to be the greatest country ever' kind of sense.

With God as my witness, I have too many observations to be left on the wayside. And I said in my last blog that I would provide the solution. The easiest solution would be to make me (Russell Morgan Holloway II) King and Tyrant. Lacking that, though, here is part one:

Ingenuity

America does a remarkable job of coming up with the best ideas first. Here are some examples:

* Modern Day Democracy
* Assembly line
* Nuclear power
* The lunar frontier
* Geez, if it weren't for the wheel, what would anyone else have?
* umm.... what else? Oh yeah! The fact that the rest of world relies on our largesse to get through each day.

Sorry. If the Germans are good at engineering, and the French are good at making wine, the Swiss are good at making cheese, watches, and army knives, and the Chinese are good at making Happy Meals, then so be it. America will always win because we have the best ideas first.

The best ideas are yet to come....

If I were in charge...

I have the ability to reach millions with my tiny blog, and I have used it for selfish purposes to date. Food is delicious, music is beautiful, and everyone hates Nickelback (I hope). No one needs me to tell them that. I meant to create so much more with this outlet for creativity. This is my pre- New Years resolution:

I will only use my blog for the good of mankind, not for them to dick off at work.

That said, I believe in the perseverance of mankind and the human spirit. I am a hopeless (almost to a fault) optimist. God gave us everything and the ability to do anything.

Now given that, there are plenty of dumbasses out there. This post is not for you. Go away if you're thinking about litigation in the name of "i dont no all theeze words...unfare!". By away I mean blast yourself into outer space (any rocket scientist will be more than happy to help you achieve this).

If you are still reading this, then you feel me. There are too many idiots out there making the world a more terrible place for people that are offended by sharing a rung on the evolutionary ladder with Jerry Springer. Sorry, that may be a dated reference.... how about ________ Kardashian? Better? Thought so.

This blog is a prologue to other blogs I will write (of course). The reason I wrote this is that I am sick and tired of other people who have no business influencing others' point of view whining about how the world is going down the tubes because of the (insert any ethnicity that any 24 hour news propagandist is scared of here). 

The real truth is that there are very few people in America right now who will atone for their actions. No one in politics wants to admit anything they did after they did it (think healthcare, stimulus, tax cuts, invasion of Iraq, invasion of Afghanistan, etc.). Not many people in the business community either will fess up and hold themselves accountable (think sub-prime morgages, commodity futures, and Enron). 

What about the future of America?

I am here to tell you, my friends, that the world is a beautiful place, despite any sinister blogs you may have been reading lately. The end is not near. Not only have we not reached the beginning of the end, but we have barely scratched the surface of the end of the beginning.

I will begin to show you the way in my next blog, stay tuned!

FOOD - Love in the time of Collard Greens

I started this blog to get things off my chest, and right now I am teeming with things to say. From the Tea Party activists to currency instability to outbreaks of cholera (Incidentally, it's hard for me to take anything that used to be an obstacle on "Oregon Trail" seriously) there is no shortage of topics to rant about to my three (Thanks, Riley) followers. However, right as I started dusting off the old soapbox and getting ready to enlighten, I got blindsided by another delicious meal in New Orleans.

I really just need to pick a topic and stick with it rather than getting distracted every time I eat something amazing at a new restaurant. But I love food, especially southern cooking. Grits, gumbo, and gravy; cornbread, collards, and king cake; pulled pork, peaches, and pecan pie; barbecue, brisket, brunswick stew, and buttermilk biscuits; mmm... biscuits. It's all delicious, really.

The restaurant responsible for my excitement this time is Riccobono's Peppermill Restaurant in Metairie, LA (just a short ways away from New Orleans). The dish? The fish. Redfish, to be specific. And frankly, I was a little surprised to see this selection on the menu. I don't usually see redfish on restaurant menus very often. Of the times I've had it, it's usually been fresh caught by me or someone I know that recently went fishing. Nevertheless, it is one of my personal favorites: not too fishy, not too bland, a great choice for this dish.

Redfish served up with a lemon butter sauce, artichokes and capers with a side of brabant potatoes. 

Here's the thing... I was starving; I hadn't had breakfast or lunch that day, but that wasn't why I loved it so much. I got to the restaurant around 4:30, making me the youngest one dining by about 50 years. I was looking for a late lunch, but evidently all the old-timers had shown up for the early bird dinner special and their menu had changed. 

Let me say this: old people gross me out really badly; I should have lost my appetite, but I didn't.

The point is, even with all those octogenarians present, the food was so good that it gave me an erection. Sick, right? Yeah I know! I didn't think that whole 'way to a man's heart...' thing was so accurate (or twistedly perverse, however you want to look at it). But it totally did! And in a restaurant full of geezers to boot! 

I may have to delete this blog later.... I think a line just got crossed. Maybe next time I'll just stick to how much I hate Nickelback.

MUSIC - Learning to play guitar and songs in the key of G

I have had several friends express interest in learning how to play the guitar over the past year or so, and my advice whenever this happens is the same. Practice a lot, and learn all the different ways to play the D, C, and G chords. This will allow you to play a ton of songs right off. I started thinking of what songs you could play with just the variations of these chords and came up with the following songs immediately.

Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd

The Joker – The Steve Miller Band

(Lovin’ is) What I Got – Sublime

Feel Like Makin’ Love – Bad Company

The High Road – Broken Bells (actually a D minor, not major, but it's not difficult to go on anyway)

Brown-Eyed Girl – Van Morrison

Can’t You See – Marshall Tucker Band

Time of Your Life – Green Day

Semi-Charmed Life – Third Eye Blind

Johnny B. Goode – Chuck Berry

and probably some bullshit Nickelback songs too, but if you're reading this blog, then you probably hate them as much as I do (see previous post)

These are just the tip of the iceberg. If you add the E minor and F chords, the list actually approaches infinity. I remember from my days as a physics major being told that there is not actually a googol (the number, not the website that misspells the representation of 1 followed by a hundred zeroes) of anything in the universe. I beg to differ. There are actually 2 googol songs that can be played using only the C, D, G, Em, and F chords, including every song by Pearl Jam, Metallica, Bob Dylan, and Lynyrd Skynyrd (even Freebird).

I was about to start explaining how to play the guitar, but I think that would be boring to anyone who happened to just be browsing through and not thinking about playing themselves. So my last bit of advice on the subject is to practice those chords until you can play them in your sleep (seriously), and you'll be well on your way to being a total badass like me.

This song is also in the key of G.

RAGE - Sometimes you just have to...

This blog is very therapeutic. This is only the third I have published, but I have several that are sitting in a folder that I self-censored from the rest of the God-fearing internet that have at least acted as an outlet of aggression. That being said, it is also calming to rage about the things that send you to the edge in a public forum for anyone on the planet to notice.

Here are a few of the things that have filled me with rage; I should also mention that I also can't stand fans of the bands on this list in addition to the bands themselves. Here goes (in no particular order)...

Cats (the animal and the musical), the movie "Vanilla Sky", Snuggies, anything that is broken that I am trying to use right then, Death Cab for Cutie, stupid people and people with no ambition, slow drivers in the left lane, Texas beer prices, the fuckers that stole my guitar, Nickelback and Kid Rock, the BP oil spill, the Kardashians, dogs dressed in people clothes, Glenn Beck, when my GPS drives me in circles, terrorists, Jane Austen novels, Ben Stiller movies, Noel Gallagher, traffic (the jam, not the band), the police (the law enforcement, not the band), Rush (the band, not the frat event, although come to think of it...), the stars on the background of this page that sometimes make the text hard to read, radio DJs that think I want to hear about how much they party, overly-judgmental Christians, radishes, bad grammar, the Auburn Tigers and Duke Blue Devils, video games, Rachel Ray, AT&T, the attitude of Californians towards people who smoke, pop-up ads, stupid people (this one needs two mentions), red lights, orange-skinned tanning booth sluts, Yellow (the Coldplay song, not the color), the greenhouse effect, blue balls, the Indigo Girls, and Violet (the bitch from "Willie Wonka")

 I could go on; this is just a sampling, and, truthfully, stupid people kind of encapsulate a heck of a lot of those anyway like the AT&T customer service staff and Kid Rock. 

Don't think I am a pessimistic douche; I like stuff also (dogs not dressed up in people clothes, hollandaise sauce, music, sex). It is completely normal to be pissed off (remember the bumper sticker: "If you're not completely enraged, then you're not paying attention"? Well I do, and I am). To illustrate this, I will also include here some notable examples of normal raging, and good rants that I have heard in my day. What follows is pretty obscene, so if you don't think you can handle it, please stop reading.

"I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked-up repugnant shit... You ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Super Fly TNT; I'm the Guns of Navarone! In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You the motherfucker should be on brain detail! We fuckin' switchin'. I'm washin' windows, and you pickin' up this dead nigga's skull!"

         

             - Samuel L. Jackson's character, Jules, in "Pulp Fiction"

"VIRGIN MOBILE IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER BAG OF WANK!!!!!!!! THE SOONER MY FUCKING CONTRACT IS OVER THE FUCKING BETTER!!!!! IT'S ALL ABOUT AS HELPFUL AND USEFUL AS A BASTARD CHOCOLATE GOD TEAPOT!!!!!"

             - Frances' (from England, obviously) Facebook update

As you can see, throwing in some random words that don't make sense in American English makes this rant particularly awesome, as well as effective in unleashing verbal aggression.

"All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then all you motherfucks are next."

             - Jay, from the Miramax film "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"

Imagery makes this outburst especially vivid. You can practically see the Miramax fucks eating their own shit.

"...we’re going to bomb them back into the Stone Age. And we would shove them back into the Stone Age with Air power or Naval power" 

             - Gen. Curtis LeMay

"Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves."

             - Matthew 21:12, New International Version

Actions speak louder than words, so when the chosen messiah trashes his dad's house in the midst of what would to the rest of us be a mid-life crisis (he, a carpenter, wrought havoc on unsuspecting tables and chairs as well as freaking out the animal that symbolizes peace), it impresses upon us a much greater sense of importance than even threats of mass destruction from a decorated military commander.

That's all for now. I can already feel my fists unclenching and my eyes beginning to uncross... So long!

FOOD - My most delicious meal in recent memory (Miami, FL)

Welcome back to Tiny Flashing Dots, friends! For my second blog, I have chosen to talk about food. Delicious food is amazing; it is truly one of my favorite things. The particular meal I'll be discussing today was so good, I needed to share it with somebody. Here goes...


I recently visited Miami, FL for work, and while I was there had some of the best food I've had in quite some time. First of all, there are more restaurants in Miami than you can shake a stick at, but today I wanted to dwell on one in particular. I went to Olivo's (technically in Doral, FL) thinking it would be a good place for a martini to unwind for happy hour (I travel a lot for my job, and a cool buzz at the end of the day can turn dining alone from mundane into tolerable) and enjoy some Argentinian cuisine.


Despite the name, however, there is no liquor on the premises of this establishment. I was slightly disappointed by that, and also because a look at the menu gave me the impression that this would be great place for a really nice date. Too bad my rental car is a 2010 metallic pumpkin-colored Camaro.

(This car makes it hard to find classy girls, sorry Chevy)

Nevertheless, I stayed and did not regret my decision.


I started with the piquillo peppers stuffed with goat cheese. Pretty good I have to say, but I mean, really, how hard is it to mess that one up? Goat cheese is delicious all the time, and using it to stuff a roasted pepper is just a medium so we don't have to use our hands to stuff it in our mouths as fast as we can (as I'm sure you will agree, we are all wont to do). Alas, I digress...


Have you ever had a meal so good that it gave you goosebumps? Yeah, me neither until I ate the salmon. Recommended to me by my beautiful, yet non-English speaking, bartender, I was a little skeptical at first (had she said Jamon or Salmon?), but my doubts were soon washed away when the entree arrived.


Salmon on a bed of risotto with mint jelly.


First off, I noticed the presentation immediately. The pastel colors of the salmon and risotto contrasted vividly with the green of the mint jelly (it brought back memories of the key-lime pie in the black and white intro to 'Natural Born Killers'). It was a great way to set the Olivo's tone (if anyone gets that joke, please leave a comment).


The flavor of this dish was the true prize, though. That sweet v. salty taste that always will triumph was there in spades. I couldn't believe my taste buds. I am not a big guy (a buck fifty is my fightin' weight); so after the four or five peppers in the appetizer course, I didn't know how far I would be able to go into the main dish. Let me tell you though, I took that thing to the face like there was no tomorrow. I couldn't, in good conscience, stop and think that I would be able to warm it up later in my Springhill Suites microwave. No! It would be a disgrace to the food. I ate through that meal like I would never taste something that good again.


Replete to satisfaction from the salmon, I ordered coffee which was served with a nice little caramel candy to round off the meal. I should also go on record as saying that the restaurant's menu looked very good overall; I was not considering the salmon at all and was actually having quite a bit of trouble deciding when the recommendation brought me around. I'm not sure what constitutes true Argentinian fare, but I was so blown away that day, that I couldn't have cared if it was a cheap, Peruvian knock-off. It was good!


This was the kind of meal that you eat and it makes you think about the bigger culinary picture. Confusion sets in, and you ask yourself all those gastrointestinal, existential questions (Is all food supposed to be this good? If so, where have I been this entire time? How can Applebee's exist in a world where this meal is available?).


Summary: I approve of Olivo's in Doral (greater Miami), FL and give kudos to the folks that got my movie joke.